The Erection News

No….my title is not a typo. Yes…with the mid-term election days away, we are surrounded and inundated with election ads and promos. But erection news is nearly as pervasive, and it will be here just as pervasively long after the election results are in.

Just so you know what I am talking about….according to these ads…there are two kinds of erections (besides your local elections) that need your constant thought and attention: those that never arrive, and those that run amuck….the latter requiring an immediate trip to your local emergency room. The vast plain of normalcy in between is never mentioned for obvious reasons. But if you look at the faces of the ad-actors you would be lead to believe that this erection problem is pandemic among all ages. I have never seen these ads placed in the most appropriate setting….a retirement or nursing home. Yet suddenly, I remember, old people aren’t supposed to have sex. So…are these younger actors stand-ins for the aged, or is that the target audience? (see the last paragraph)

Fundamentally, I don’t care who their target audience is. (It seems to be people in bathtubs.) I just don’t want it to be the five year old child who is sitting next to me watching an afternoon ballgame. I just don’t want to have to answer the question, “What is an erection?” That’s not the best place to start a sex education talk. I just want these ads, if they must be on, to be on after five-year- olds, even nine-year-olds for that matter, are in bed. They used to ban hard liquor ads. Why not ED ads? I guess ED drugs are considered medicine while liquor is not. You might get some dissent on that from some people.

Maybe it’s just a case of etiquette. Maybe it’s old fashioned prudishness. Not only do I find it embarrassing when the kiddies are around, I find it offensive from a cultural standpoint. Kittenish friskiness seems the main style for Cialis, while hitch-me-up-my-saddle on the back of my oversized pickup truck (symbolism here?) while I kick-ass drive through the Western prairie toward my honey waitin’ for me at the ranch (after my pills)… is the Viagra pitch. Every cultural male symbol can be in the frame, (‘cept there’s no erection…check his chaps). Not to worry, some chemical in a pill is ridin’ to the rescue. It’s all rather demeaning to both sexes and sort of pubescent.

Hiding behind all this silliness, is a serious male problem, pandemic enough to spur these ads and the many millions of dollars they bring in to Big Pharma. I don’t mean to minimize the medical issue. I just object to the pervasive ads, as if they were candy or soda ads, scattered throughout the day without a sense of offending decency for the very young. I think there was a brief time when there was some grass roots efforts to get congress to ban these ads before 10PM, but that seems to have faded.

Nonetheless, I for one, thought it worth a post to agitate for some sense of propriety that supersedes the profit motive. I, for one, still squirm when they come on and there are youngsters in the room. Muting, and/or recording and fast-forwarding through ALL ads is my main defense these days. Maybe advertisers in general will note this and recognize they are all in this together, and self-policing is the best defense against imposed sanctions.

Then again….is it a medical issue…..or are the scripts they’re selling us here subliminally suggesting that the four hour erection is not a medical emergency, but rather…. a recreational tool? But that’s another post.



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